趣味英語小故事怎麼翻譯
① 英語1分鍾小故事帶翻譯，最好是有趣一點的
The Old Cat
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old. One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.
Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years, and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old, but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
【譯文】
老貓
一位老婦有隻貓，這只貓很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了東西，因為它年紀太大了。一天，老貓發現一隻老鼠，它跳過去抓這只老鼠，然而，它咬不住這只老鼠。因此，老鼠從它的嘴邊溜掉了，因為老貓咬不了它。
於是，老婦很生氣，因為老貓沒有把老鼠咬死。她開始打這只貓，貓說：「不要打你的老僕人，我已經為你服務了很多年，而且租鍵液還願意為你效勞，但是，我實在太老了，對年紀大的不要這么無情，要記住老年人在年青時所做過的有益的事情。」
A man was going to the house of some rich person. As he went along the road, he saw a box of good apples at the side of the road. He said, "I do not want to eat those apples; for the rich man will give me much food; he will give me very nice food to eat." Then he took the apples and threw them away into the st.
He went on and came to a river. The river had become very big; so he could not go over it. He waited for some time; then he said, "I cannot go to the rich man's house today, for I cannot get over the river."
He began to go home. He had eaten no food that day. He began to want food. He came to the apples, and he was glad to take them out of the st and eat them.
Do not throw good things away; you may be glad to have them at some other time.
【譯文】
一個人正朝著一個富人的房子走去，當他沿著路走時，在路的一邊他發現一箱好蘋果，他說：「我不打算吃那些蘋果，因為富人會給我更多的食物，他會給我很好吃的東西。」然後他拿起蘋果弊物，一把扔到土裡去。
他繼續走，來到河邊，河漲水了，因此，他到亮蔽不了河對岸，他等了一會兒，然後他說：「今天我去不了富人家了，因為我不能渡過河。」
他開始回家，那天他沒有吃東西。他就開始去找吃的，他找到蘋果，很高興地把它們從塵土中翻出來吃了。
不要把好東西扔掉，換個時候你會覺得它們大有用處。
The City Mouse and the Country Mouse
Once there were two mice. They were friends. One mouse lived in the country; the other mouse lived in the city. After many years the Country mouse saw the City mouse; he said, "Do come and see me at my house in the country." So the City mouse went. The City mouse said, "This food is not good, and your house is not good. Why do you live in a hole in the field? You should come and live in the city. You would live in a nice house made of stone. You would have nice food to eat. You must come and see me at my house in the city."
The Country mouse went to the house of the City mouse. It was a very good house. Nice food was set ready for them to eat. But just as they began to eat they heard a great noise. The City mouse cried, " Run! Run! The cat is coming!" They ran away quickly and hid.
After some time they came out. When they came out, the Country mouse said, "I do not like living in the city. I like living in my hole in the field. For it is nicer to be poor and happy, than to be rich and afraid."
【譯文】
城裡老鼠和鄉下老鼠
從前，有兩只老鼠，它們是好朋友。一隻老鼠居住在鄉村，另一隻住在城裡。很多年以後，鄉下老鼠碰到城裡老鼠，它說：「你一定要來我鄉下的家看看。」於是，城裡老鼠就去了。鄉下老鼠領著它到了一塊田地上它自己的家裡。它把所有最精美食物都找出來給城裡老鼠。城裡老鼠說：「這東西不好吃，你的家也不好，你為什麼住在田野的地洞里呢？你應該搬到城裡去住，你能住上用石頭造的漂亮房子，還會吃上美味佳餚，你應該到我城裡的家看看。」
鄉下老鼠就到城裡老鼠的家去。房子十分漂亮，好吃的東西也為他們擺好了。可是正當他們要開始吃的時候，聽見很大的一陣響聲，城裡的老鼠叫喊起來：「快跑！快跑！貓來了！」他們飛快地跑開躲藏起來。
過了一會兒，他們出來了。當他們出來時，鄉下老鼠說：「我不喜歡住在城裡，我喜歡住在田野我的洞里。因為這樣雖然貧窮但是快樂自在，比起雖然富有卻要過著提心吊膽的生活來說，要好些。」
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I come to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師:為什麼你每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,就看見一個牌子上寫著"學校----慢行".
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing two policemen. If I regard the two policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」
A little bird fly to south for the winter. It was very cold, almost frozen bird. Hence, fly to a large space, after a cow there, in a pile of cow ng upon the bird, frozen bird lying on the nghill, feel very warm, graally recovered, it is warm and comfortable lying, and soon began to sing songs, a passing wildcat hear voices, see, follow the voice, wildcats quickly found lying on the nghill, bird, pull it out.
The way of existence: not everyone to lead the ng upon your people are your enemy. Each of you is not from the nghill lire people are your friends, and, when you lying on the nghill, had better keep your mouth shut.
糞堆里的小鳥
一隻小鳥飛到南方去過冬。天很冷，小鳥幾乎凍僵了。於是，飛到一大塊空地上，一頭牛經過那兒，拉了一堆牛糞在小鳥的身上，凍僵的小鳥躺在糞堆里，覺得很溫暖，漸漸蘇醒過來，它溫暖而舒服的躺著，不久唱起歌來，一隻路過的野貓聽到聲音，走過去看個究竟，循著聲音，野貓很快發現了躺在糞堆里的小鳥，把它拽出來吃掉了。
生存之道：不是每個往你身上拉大糞的人都是你的敵人。也不是每個把你從糞堆里拉出來的人都是你的朋友，還有，當你躺在糞堆里時，最好把你的嘴閉上。
② 搞笑英語故事帶翻譯
搞笑英語故事帶翻譯
搞笑英語故事帶翻譯一：
To Borrow an OxOnce upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know any words. One day, one of his friends wanted to borrow an ox from him, so he wrote a note and asked his servant to take it to this rich man. After the servant gave the note to the rich man, he pretended to be reading it and after a while, he said, OK, I know. Go and tell your master, I'll go myself shortly.
借公牛一用 從明圓前，有個人很富有，但他不識字。 一天，他的一位朋友想向他借一頭公牛，便寫了個條，讓僕人送到富人那裡。 僕人把條子給了富人。富人便假裝看了一會兒，然後說道：好啦，我知道了。回去告訴你的主人，我馬上自己過去。
搞笑啟漏英語故事帶翻譯二：
HogarthThe great painter was asked, one day to paint a picture of Pharaoh crossing the Red Sea. A little while after the picture had been commenced, a hitch arose over the fee, and Hogarth found that he would have to complete the commission for about half the sum he expected. When the work was com pleted, the patron was asked to come and inspect it. As a matter of fact, the picture was just one daub of brilliant red. What's this? exclaimed the purchaser. I asked for the Red Sea, on the occasion of the celebrated passage. That's it, replied Hogarth. But, where are the Israelites? They are all gone over.Where are the Egyptians?They're all drowned.
霍迦悄槐爛斯一天，有人請這位偉大的畫家畫一幅法老王渡紅海圖。這幅畫剛開始不久，酬金就出現了問題。霍迪斯發現，完成這幅畫後，他只能得到他想要的大約一半的'錢。當作品完成之後，那位主顧被請來看畫。其實，這幅畫不過是胡亂塗抹的一片鮮紅。 這是什麼?那位買主喊了起來。我要的是紅海，是那次著名的航海。 這就是，霍迦斯回答說。 可是以色列人在哪兒? 他們都已經渡過去了。 埃及人在哪兒? 他們全都淹死了。
搞笑英語故事帶翻譯三：
What was it she wanted?A store manager heard a clerk tell a customer. No, ma’am, we haven't had any for a while, and it doesn't look asif we'll be getting soon. Horrified, the manager came runningover to the customer and said, Of course, we'll have somesoon, We placed an order last week. Then the manager drewthe clerk aside: Never, never, never say we are out of anythingsay we've got it on order and it's coming. Now whatwas it she wanted?Rain, said the clerk.
她要買什麼?一個商店經理聽見一個店員對顧客說：不，夫人，這會兒沒有，一時半會兒看來也不會有。經理驚恐萬分地跑到顧客跟前說：當然，馬上就會有的，我們上周訂了貨。然後經理把店員拉到一邊：千萬，千萬，千萬不要說我們沒有什麼，說我們已經訂了貨，貨馬上就到。現在你說她要買什麼?雨，店員說。
;③ 英語簡單搞笑故事帶翻譯
『壹』 非常簡短的英語幽默故事帶翻譯
The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.
"It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"
"Ah, yes," answered the little girl. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"
一個小來女孩非常不喜歡狗顫握自狂叫的樣子。
「沒有關系，」一位先生說，「不用害怕，你知道這條諺語嗎：『吠狗不咬人。』」
「啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道嗎？」
『貳』 英語幽默小故事（帶翻譯的） 不要太幼稚的！
He Won
Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny? Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
他贏了
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？
約翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒？
約翰尼：我們做游戲，看茄團慶誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
I Have His Ear in My Pocket
Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問，「發生了什麼事？」
「一個男孩咬了我一口，」伊凡或弊說。
「再見到他你能認出來嗎？」媽媽問。
「他走到哪裡我都能認出他，」伊凡說。「他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。」
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」
Hospitality
The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest's plate. The visitor *** iled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: "You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?" "In the rat-trap, sir," replied the boy.
好客
由於客人在吃蘋果餡餅時，家裡沒有乳酪了，於是女主人向大家表示歉意。這家的小男孩悄悄地離開了屋子。過了一會兒，他拿著一片乳酪回到房間，把乳酪放在客人的盤子里。 客人微笑著把乳酪放進嘴裡說：「孩子，你的眼睛就是比你媽媽的好。你在哪裡找到的乳酪？」 「在捕鼠夾上，先生。」那小男孩說。
英語小笑話
上個星期五我穿了一件 Adidas 的衣服去打球, 一個老美看到就笑我說, "Do you
know what does it mean? It means All Day I Dream About Sex.我整天都在想著
性, 縮寫正好是 Adidas) " 我正驚訝他怎麼反應這么快, 聯想力這么豐富時,旁邊的
一個老美幫我解圍, 他說, 有一個很著名的合唱團 Korn, 他們的招牌歌之一就是
A.D.I.D.A.S, (All day I dream about sex)所以呢,這個典故可是很多老美都耳熟
能詳的喔! 下次就換你去取笑老美了.
A man goes to church and starts talking to God. He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?" and God says: "A penny", then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?" and God says: "a second", then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?" and God says "In a second"
一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"上帝回答:"一便士."男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"上帝說:"一秒鍾."最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"上帝回答:"過一秒鍾."
『叄』 英語幽默小故事50字左右（帶翻譯）
Q: Why won』t the elephant use the puter?
為什麼大象不玩電腦？
A: He』s afraid of the mouse!
他害怕老鼠！
滑鼠和老鼠的英文皆為mouse。
mouse [maʊs]n. 滑鼠；老鼠；膽小羞怯的人
2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。
"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."
"Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said.
一位很焦急的病人走到醫生辦公室尋求幫助。
「醫生，我不知道該怎麼辦。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。」
「哦，不用擔心。你一定要牢記未來幾天不要吸煙就行了。」醫生說。
3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.
He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."
"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一個男人在街上被計程車撞倒送進了醫院.
他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."
醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."
聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."
妻子說:"安靜,醫生比你懂得多."
4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.
He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"
And God says: "A penny".
Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"
And God says: "a second",
Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"
And God says "In a second".
一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.
他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"
上帝回答:"一便士."
男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"
上帝說:"一秒鍾."
最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"
上帝回答:"過一秒鍾."
5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？
約翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒？
約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問，「發生了什麼事？」
「一個男孩咬了我一口，」伊凡說。
「再見到他你能認出來嗎？」媽媽問。
「他走到哪裡我都能認出他，」伊凡說。「他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。」
『肆』 英語幽默小故事帶翻譯200字以上10篇
1. Midway Tactics
Three peting store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, "Gigantic Sale!" and "Super Bargains!"
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, "Prices Slashed!" and "Fantastic Discounts!"
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, "ENTRANCE".
中間戰術
三個互相爭生意的商店老闆在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：「大減價!」「特便宜!」
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：「大砍價!」「大折扣!」
中間的商人隨後准備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：「入口處」。
2. Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, "I「m going abroad tomorrow, but I「d be very happy if we could write to each other." Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, "I「ve e to visit Captain Humphreys."
"Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here," the matron said.
"Oh, that「s all right," answered Joan. "I「m his sister."
"I「m very pleased to meet you," the matron said, "I「m his mother!"
在第二次世界大戰中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個大軍營中工作，當然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說，"我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會很高興。"瓊同意了，於是他們幾個月里一直通著信。
後來，他再沒有來信。她收到了另一個軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個部隊醫院里。
瓊到了醫院，她對護士長說，"我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯。"
"這里只有親屬可以探望病人。"護士長說。
"噢，是的，"瓊說，"我是他的妹妹。"
"很高興認識你，"護士長說，"我是他的母親。"
希望能幫助到您，望採納！
『伍』 英語幽默故事帶翻譯
這樣可以嗎 ？
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I e to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師:為什麼你每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,就看見一個牌子上寫著"學校----慢行".
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」
『陸』 求英文幽默小故事 少一點 越少越好 帶中文翻譯
Fox and cock
【狐狸和公雞】
One morning a fox saw a cock.He thought,"This is my breakfast.''
He came up to the cock and said,"I know you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The cock was glad.He closes his eyes and began to sing.The fox saw that and caught him in his mouth and carried him away.
The people in the field saw the fox.They cried,"Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.''
The cock said to the fox,"Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.''
The fox opened his mouth and said,"The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock ran away from the fox and fled into the tree.
一天早上，一隻狐狸看到了一隻公雞。他想：這是我的早餐。
他朝公雞走來，對他說：「我知道，你能唱得非常好聽，你能唱給我聽么？」公雞很高興。他閉上眼睛開始唱歌。狐狸看到這些抓住它放到自己的嘴裡走了。
在田地里的人們看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：「看，看！狐狸抓住公雞逃走了。」公雞對狐狸說：「狐狸先生，你能理解么？人們認為你叼走了公雞。告訴他們這是你的，不是他們的。」
狐狸張開她的嘴說：「公雞是我的，不是你們的。」就在那時，公雞逃離了狐狸的嘴巴，跑到了樹底下。
『柒』 求一個簡單的英語幽默小故事,不要太長. 英語加翻譯
Tom has o apples.He ate one and ask Jim "how mang apples do I have now?".Jim answered quickly"very easy,one."But Tom said"no ,I have o .One is inside and the other is outside.
湯姆有兩個蘋果.他吃了一個,然後問吉姆「我現在有幾個蘋果?」吉姆很快的版回答說「太簡權單了,一個嘛.」但是湯姆說「不對,我有兩個.一個在裡面（肚子里）一個在外面.
④ 英語幽默小故事 英語幽默小故事及翻譯
1、英語幽默小故事：Midway Tactics
Three competing store owners rented adjoining shops in a mall. Observers waited for mayhem to ensue.
The retailer on the right put up huge signs saying, Gigantic Sale! and Super Bargains!
The store on the left raised bigger signs proclaiming, Prices Slashed! and Fantastic Discounts!
The owner in the middle then prepared a large sign that simply stated, ENTRANCE.
幽默故事翻譯：中間戰術
三個互相爭生意的商店老闆在一條商業街上租用了毗鄰的店鋪。旁觀者等著瞧好戲。
右邊的零售商掛起了巨大的招牌，上書：「大減價!」「特便宜!」
左邊的商店掛出了更大的招牌，聲稱：「大砍價!」「大折扣!」
中間的商人隨後准備了一個大招牌，上面只簡單地寫著：「入口處」。
2、英語幽默小故事：Very Pleased to Meet You
During World War II, a lot of young women in Britain were in the army. Joan Phillips was one of them. She worked in a big camp, and of course met a lot of men, officers and soldiers.
One evening she met Captain Humphreys at a dance. He said to her, I『m going abroad tomorrow, but I『d be very happy if we could write to each other. Joan agreed, and they wrote for several months.
Then his letters stopped, but she received one from another officer, telling her that he had been wounded and was in a certain army hospital in England.
Joan went there and said to the matron, I『ve come to visit Captain Humphreys.
Only relatives are allowed to visit patients here, the matron said.
Oh, that『s all right, answered Joan. I『m his sister.
I『m very pleased to meet you, the matron said, I『m his mother!
幽默故事翻譯：
在第二次世界大戰中，有許多年輕的婦女在軍營中服役。瓊.飛利浦斯是其中之一。她在一個大軍營中工作，當然遇到了許多男士，包括軍官和士兵。
一天晚上她在舞會上遇到了軍官漢弗雷斯。他對她說，「我明天就要出國，但如果我們能夠相互寫信，我會很高興。」瓊同意了，於是他們幾個月里一直通著信。
後來，他再沒有來信。她收到了另一個軍官的信，告訴她，他受傷了，住在英格蘭的某個部隊醫院里。
瓊到了醫院，她對護士長說，「我來看望軍官漢弗雷斯。」
「這里只有親屬可以探望病人。」護士長說。
「噢，是的，」瓊說，「我是他的妹妹。」
「很高興認識你，」護士長說，「我是他的母親。」
⑤ 英語小故事（帶中文翻譯）
1、A cat goes to a river every day. He wants to go fishing. But he can』t catch any fish.
一隻貓每天去河邊，他想去釣魚，但是他去釣不到一條。
One day, he goes to the river as usual. Suddenly a fish comes out. He catches the fish. He is very happy. He forgets to put the fish in the basket. He dances and sings. He shouts, 「I have a fish! I have a fish!」 All his friends come to see him.
一天，他像往常一樣去了河邊。突然一條魚浮出了水面。他捉到了那條魚。他非常開心。他忘記把魚放到籃子里去了。他又唱又跳，叫道：「我捉到一條魚!我捉到一條魚!」他所有的朋友都過來看。
「Where is your fish? Let us have a look at it. 」 his friends say.
「你的魚在哪兒?讓我們看一看。」他的朋友們說。
「It』s there, near the bank.」 the cat answers. But he can』t find the fish. When he sings and dances, the fish jumps back into the river.
「在那兒，河岸附近。」貓回答道。但是他找不到那條魚。當他又唱又跳的時候，魚跳回了河裡。
2、Wang Xi- is one of the most famous calligraphers ring the Eastern Jin Dynasty of China. When he was very young, he practiced his art every day and never stopped.
王羲之是中國東晉時代一個很有名的書法家，他從小就刻苦練字，從不間斷。
absorbed the strong points of all the other schools of calligraphy, and developed his own unique style of writing. Because of his achievements, he has been honored as one of China's sages of calligraphy.
以後又吸取了各個不同書法派的優點，形成他自己獨特的個性。因為他在書法上的成就，人們都尊稱他為中國書法界的「聖人」。
One time, Wang Xi- sketched in wood for an engraver to cut. Then the engraver found the ink had penetrated one centimeter into the wood.
有一次，王羲之在木板上刻字，後來刻字的人發現墨汁滲入木板有三尺深。
"Ru Mu San Fen" is got from this story, which means the calligraphy is penetrating.
「入木三分」就是從這個故事中得出來的，用來形容書法有力。
3、I have nine little goldfish .Eight goldfish are all orange and one isblack .I like the black one best.
我有九條小金魚。八條金魚都是桔黃色的，只有一條是黑的。我最喜歡那條黑的。
We call it Xiao Hei .Its body is black .It hastwo big and round eyes, a small mouth ,and a big tail. Though it＇s very small ,itswims fast .
我們叫它小黑。它全身都是黑色的。它有兩只又大又圓的眼睛，一張小嘴和一條大尾巴。盡管它非常小，但它卻游得很快。
I often feed them and change water for them. We are good friends .
我常常去喂它們，給它們換水。我們是好朋友。
4、For months I hinted that I needed a new wedding ring, since I had developed an allergy to gold.
幾個月以來，我一直在向丈夫暗示我需要一枚新的結婚戒指，因為我對黃金有點過敏。
On my birthday, while I was gardening, my husband asked me for gift suggestions.I held my hands up and said, "Well, you『ll notice that my hands are bare."
生日那天，我正在干園藝活時，丈夫問我想要什麼禮物。我舉起雙手說：「嗯，你肯定看到了，我的兩手都是光光的。」
Later that evening I opened my present with enthusiasm. "Happy birthday," he said, as I unwrapped a new pair of gardening gloves.
那天晚上，我滿懷熱情地拆開了丈夫送的禮物。「生日快樂!」他說。我打開一看：裡麵包著一雙園藝手套。
5、A panda looks like a little bear. It has black and white fur. It lives only in China, so it is called the national treasure of China and protected by the law.
熊貓看起來好像一隻小熊。它的皮毛是黑白相間。 它只居住在中國，因此，它是中國的國寶，受到國家法律的保護。
We all see panda on TV or in the zoo. They look stupid and walk slowly, but they are lovely and everyone likes them.
A panda is lucky animal. We Chinese like it, and people of the world like it, too.
我們在電視上或在動物園里能看到熊貓。他們看起來顯得很笨的樣子，走起來很緩慢，但很可愛，大家都很喜歡它們。
Now there are China』s pandas in many other countries, such as Japan and the USA…
熊貓是個吉祥的動物。中國人民喜歡它，世界人民也喜歡它。現在許多國家都有中國的熊貓，如，日本、美國……
A panda isn』t a common animal, it is bridge of friendship.
熊貓不是一種普通的動物，而是一座友誼的橋梁。
⑥ 求一篇有趣的英語小故事，很短，有翻譯
A smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit,"Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities. "
His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,"It's impossible --you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!
Then the boy opened his mouth --he had not a tooth left!
英文笑話：我沒有蛀牙/No Cavities
小男孩兒看完牙醫，面帶微笑地回到版家：「嘿，媽媽，牙權醫說，我一顆蛀牙也沒有。」
媽媽驚訝地瞪大眼睛：「不可能——你每回上床睡覺前都把巧克力盒子里的糖一下子吃完，而且從來不刷牙！」
這時，男孩兒張開了嘴巴——他的牙全被拔光了？
同意就採納吧，謝謝了!
⑦ 英語趣味故事
一 英語趣味小故事
1. The Perfect Son.
A: I have the perfect son.
B: Does he *** oke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever e home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
完美兒子
A:我有一個很完美的兒子.
B:他抽煙嗎?
A:不抽.
B:他喝威士忌酒嗎?
A:不喝.
B:他會不會很晚回家?
A:不會.
B:我想你確實有一個完美兒子. 那他多大了?
A:下個星期三就滿6個月了.
2. I'm Trying to Stop It
"Boy, why have you got cotton-wool in your ear? Is it infected?"
"No, sir, but you said yesterday that everything you told me went in one ear and out the other , so I am trying to stop it."
「孩子，你為什麼用棉花蘆茄塞住耳朵？它感染了嗎？」
「沒有，老師。可是你昨天說你告訴我的知識都是一個耳朵里進，一個耳朵里出，所以我要把它堵在裡面。」
3. Sorry
「I'm sorry ，Madam ，but I shall have to charge you enty dollars for pulling your boy's tooth .」
「Twenty d ollars! Why ，I understand you to say that you charged only four dollars for such work!」
「Yes ，but this youngster yelled so terribly that he scared four other patients out of the office .」
「對不起，夫人，陪埋察為您孩子拔牙我要收取20美元。」
「20美液做元！為什麼？不是說好只要4美元。」
「是的，但是你的孩子大喊大叫，把另外四個病人嚇跑了。」
4. Teacher：We all know that beat causes an object to expand an cold cauese it to contract. Now，can anyone give me a good example?
John：Well ，in the summer the days are long，and in the winter the days are short.
老師：我們都知道熱脹冷縮的道理。現在，誰給我舉個例子？
約翰：嗯，在夏天天都長，在冬天天都短。
5. Second language
A mother mouse was out for a stroll with her babies when she spotted a cat crouched behind a bush. She watched the cat, and the cat watched the mice.
Mother mouse barked fiercely, "Woof, woof, woof!" The cat was so terrified that it ran for it's life.
Mother mouse turned to her babies and said, "Now, do you understand the value of a second language?"
一隻母老鼠帶著孩子出來散步，突然她看見一隻貓正在灌木叢中虎視耽耽。
母老鼠向著貓叫道：「汪，汪，汪」，貓聽了非常害怕，拚命跑走了。
母老鼠回過頭洋洋自得的對孩子說：「現在你知道外語的重要性了吧。
二 有趣的英語小故事
兩個人念對話，剩下一個人念旁白
Big Head
「All the kids make fun of me」the boy cried to his mother.「They say I have a big head」
「Don't listen to them.」his mother forted him.「You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes」
「Where's the shopping bag?」
「I haven't got one,use your hat.」
大腦袋
「所有的孩子都拿我開玩笑，」小男孩哭著跟媽媽說：「他們說我長了一個大腦袋。」
「別聽他們的，」他媽媽安慰說：「你的腦袋長得很漂亮。好了，別哭了，去商店買10磅土豆來。」
「購物袋在哪？」
「我沒有購物袋，就用你的帽子吧。」
Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」
Where is the father?
Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.
"Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!"
"Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?"
The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures."
父親在哪兒？
兄弟倆在看一些漂亮的油畫。
「看，」哥哥說，「這些畫多漂亮呀！」
「是啊，」弟弟說道，「可是在所有這些畫中，只有媽媽和孩子。那爸爸去哪兒了呢？」
哥哥想了會兒，然後解釋道：「很明顯，他當時正在畫這些畫唄。
三 英語幽默小故事50字左右（帶翻譯）
Q: Why won』t the elephant use the puter?
為什麼大象不玩電腦？
A: He』s afraid of the mouse!
他害怕老鼠！
滑鼠和老鼠的英文皆為mouse。
mouse [maʊs]n. 滑鼠；老鼠；膽小羞怯的人
2.A much worried patiant walked into the doctor's office and asked for help。
"Doctor, I don't know what to do. I accidentally drank a bottle of gasoline yesterday."
"Oh, don't worry! All you have to remember is not to *** oke in the next few days." The doctor said.
一位很焦急的病人走到醫生辦公室尋求幫助。
「醫生，我不知道該怎麼辦。昨天我不小心喝下了一瓶汽油。」
「哦，不用擔心。你一定要牢記未來幾天不要吸煙就行了。」醫生說。
3.A man was hit by a cab in the street.
He was brought to the hospital.
His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill."
"I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,
Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive."
"Be quiet, "said the wife. "the doctor knows better than you!"
一個男人在街上被計程車撞倒送進了醫院.
他的妻子站在他的床前對醫生說:"我想他傷得很厲害."
醫生說:"我怕他已經死了."
聽到醫生的話,這個男人轉動著頭說:"我沒死,我還活著."
妻子說:"安靜,醫生比你懂得多."
4.A man goes to church and starts talking to God.
He says: "God, what is a million dollars to you?"
And God says: "A penny".
Then the man says: "God, what is a million years to you?"
And God says: "a second",
Then the man says: "God, can I have a penny?"
And God says "In a second".
一男子進入教堂和上帝對話.
他問:"主啊, 一百萬美元對你意味著多少?"
上帝回答:"一便士."
男子又問:"那一百萬年呢?"
上帝說:"一秒鍾."
最後男子請求道:"上帝,我能得到一便士嗎?"
上帝回答:"過一秒鍾."
5.Tommy: How is your little brother, Johnny?
Johnny: He is ill in bed. He hurt himself.
Tommy: That's too bad. How did that happen?
Johnny: We played who could lean furthest out of the window, and he won.
湯姆：約翰尼，你小弟弟好嗎？
約翰尼：他害病卧床了。他受了傷。
湯姆：真糟糕，怎麼回事兒？
約翰尼：我們做游戲，看誰能把身子探出窗外最遠，他贏了。
6.Ivan came home with a bloody nose and his mother asked, "What happened?"
"A kid bit me," replied Ivan.
"Would you recognize him if you saw him again?" asked his mother.
"I'd know him any where," said Ivan. "I have his ear in my pocket."
他的耳朵在我衣兜里
伊凡鼻子流著血回到家裡。他媽媽問，「發生了什麼事？」
「一個男孩咬了我一口，」伊凡說。
「再見到他你能認出來嗎？」媽媽問。
「他走到哪裡我都能認出他，」伊凡說。「他的耳朵還在我衣兜里呢。」
四 英語哲理小故事
讓孩子閱讀一些簡單的幼兒英語故事，確實是一個很不錯的補充學習，也能夠極大的提高孩子的學習興趣，讓幼兒時期的孩子能夠有一個英語方面很好的啟蒙。下面給大家分享一則幼兒英語故事簡單閱讀的小故事，家長們可以讀給孩子們聽一下。
分享阿西吧的免費試聽課，你可以試聽試聽：
這時兔子知道狐狸並沒有死，他就以最快的速度跑開啦。
幼兒英語故事簡單分享到這里。當然有趣的故事還有很多，家長們可以去阿西吧外教網了解更多的故事。
五 英語趣味故事
Story 1: Trick of Stealing Watermelons
Ah Q still had the habit of stealing. In village Wee, the watermelons grown by the Zhang's were big and sweet which was known far and near. One night, Ah Q was very greedy to have some watermelon, so he invited Wang Hu to steal some. They crawled toward the watermelon field in the darkness. In the flickering candle light, they dimmly saw a watermelon keeper lying on a bamboo bed. They both were not so bold to go ahead, thus Ah Q grasped a *** all stone and threw it to the middle of the field. No response from the keeper, maybe he was in sleep. The o men crawled nearer. Meanwhile Ah Q touched something sticky, he put his hand to his nose, it *** elt terrible. "Fuck it!", cursed Ah Q in mind. Just now Ah Q heard a light sound, it sounded like the bellows. "It is snore," Ah Q thought, a great joy came into mind. Ah Q dragged Wang Hu to the bamboo bed in stealth. It was really snore. Ah Q whispered a while to Wang Hu's ear. The o men moved *** oothly and silently the bamboo bed together with the keeper to the brink of a pond nearby, especially with the shoe side of the bed facing the pond. After that they returned to the field, picked the biggest melons and filled o bags as if they were picking their own. Then they carried the bags away. About 200 or 300 meters away, Ah Q shouted to the field, "Someone stealing watermelons!" No sooner had the voice fallen than came a Pootone—the sound of something dropping into the water. Ah Q and Wang Hu giggled, going away without turning their heads.
故事之一：偷瓜妙計
阿Q依舊偷性不改。未庄張家的西瓜又大又甜，遠近聞名。有天晚上，阿Q嘴饞，便約王胡一起摸黑爬到張家的西瓜地旁，搖曳的燭光中，隱約可見竹床躺著一位看瓜的伙計。二位不敢貿然行事，於是，阿Q先摸了一小塊石子向瓜田中央扔去，看瓜的伙計沒有反應，或許他睡著了。二人又向前爬了爬。阿Q的手突然摸著了一堆粘乎乎的東西，湊近鼻子一聞，酸臭酸臭，「媽媽的！」阿Q禁不住在心裡罵道。這時隱約聽見輕輕的象是拉風箱的聲音。「對了，這是鼾聲」，阿Q心想，不由一陣欣喜，拉著王胡朝竹床爬過去想探個究竟。的的確確是鼾聲，阿Q對著王胡耳語一番。二人躡手躡腳地來到竹床邊，輕輕地連人帶竹床一起抬到離瓜地不遠的水塘邊，將竹床緊臨水塘放好，並使放鞋的一邊正對水塘。二人返回瓜地，放心大膽地如同在自家地里摘瓜一般，揀最大的摘了兩大袋子，扛著袋子走了。走了約二三百米，阿Q回過頭來大喊一聲：「有人偷瓜羅！」隨後聽見遠處撲通一聲，阿Q和王胡呵呵直笑，便頭也不回地去了。
But the teacher cried
The six-year-old John was terribly spoiled . His father knew it, but his grandma doted on him. He hardly left her side. And when he wanted anything, he either cried or threw a temper tantrum. Then came his first day of school, his first day away from his grandmother's loving arms.
When he came home from school his grandma met him at the door.
"Was school all right?" she asked, "Did you get along all right? did you cry?"
"Cry?" John asked. "No, I didn't cry, but the teacher did!"
可是老師哭了
六歲的約翰嬌生慣養。他的父親知道這一點，可他的祖父母仍然寵著他。這孩子幾乎寸步不離他的祖母。他想要什麼不是哭，就是鬧。他第一天上學才離開祖母的懷抱。
約翰放學了，他奶奶在門口接他並問道：「學校怎麼樣？你過的好嗎？哭了沒有？」
「哭？」約翰問，「不，我沒哭，可老師哭了。」
⑧ 有趣英語故事帶翻譯成英語翻譯
Ⅰ 英語生動有趣的小故事（要短一點，帶翻譯）
Plugging One』s Ears While Stealing a Bell 「掩耳盜鈴」Once upon a time, there was a man who wanted to steal his neighbor』s doorbell. However, he knew clearly that the bell would ring and catch the other people』s attention as long as he touched the bell. So he thought hard and suddenly hit on a clever 「idea」. He plugged his ears with something, thinking that everything would go well when he stole the bell. Unfortunately to his disappointment, the bell still rang loudly and he was caught on the spot as a thief.從前，有一個人想偷鄰居門上的鈴，但是他知道一碰到鈴，鈴就會響起來，被人發現。他想啊想，終於他想出一個「妙極」，他把自己的耳朵用東西塞起來，就聽不見 *** 了。但是當他去偷鈴時， *** 仍舊響起來，他被別人當場抓住
Ⅱ 有趣的故事（英語作文）有翻譯的
Fox and cock
One morning a fox sees a cock.He
think,"This is my breakfast.''
He es up to the cock and says,"I know
you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The
cock is glad.He closes his eyes and begins
to sing.The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.
The people in the field see the fox.They cry,"Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.''The cock says to the fox,"Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.''
The fox opens his mouth and says,"The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
狐狸和公雞
一天早上，一隻狐狸看伏液廳到了一隻公雞。他想：這是我的早餐。
他朝公雞走來，對缺隱他說：「我知道，你能唱得非常好聽，你能唱給我聽么？瀨戶早妃埋顫」公雞很高興。他閉上眼睛開始唱歌。狐狸看到這些抓住它放到自己的嘴裡走了。
在田地里的人們看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：「看，看！狐狸抓住公雞逃走了。」公雞對狐狸說：「狐狸先生，你能理解么？人們認為你叼走了公雞。告訴他們這是你的，不是他們的。」
狐狸張開她的嘴說：「公雞是我的，不是你們的。」就在那時，。公雞跑到了樹底下。
Ⅲ 英語小故事 要有趣的 有中文翻譯
When Jack bowed to someone, he always did it at lightening speed. You shouldn't wait any longer after he has had his head nod. So he was blamed for no manners. Then some warmhearted men taught him, "When you bow to somebody next time, you can count 'January, February, March. until December. Then you can lift your body up. Thus, the ceremony will be perfect.
The next day, he met his uncle, he did as the men told him. The bow was so long that it made his uncle feel surprised and escaped away soon . When Jack looked up, he found his uncle gone . So he asked the passer, "Which month did he go away?傑克給人鞠躬，飛快地一點頭，就算完了。大家都怪他不懂禮貌。於是便有好心的人教他說，「下次鞠躬的時候，你就在心裡數：正月、二月、……一直數到十二月為止，然後再直起身來。這樣，禮節就周全了。」第二天，傑克見到他的叔叔，他便如法炮製。這躬鞠得太久，叔叔吃了一驚，趕緊逃開了。傑克抬頭一看，其叔早已不知去向，他便問過路人：「我叔叔幾月走的？」
Fox and cock
One morning a fox sees a cock.He
think,"This is my breakfast.''
He es up to the cock and says,"I know
you can sing very well.Can you sing for me?''The
cock is glad.He closes his eyes and begins
to sing.The fox sees that and caches him in his mouth and carries him away.
The people in the field see the fox.They cry,"Look,look!The fox is carrying the cock away.''The cock says to the fox,"Mr Fox,do you understand?The people say you are carrying their cock away.Tell them it is yours.Not theirs.''
The fox opens his mouth ang says,"The cock is mine,not yours.''Just then the cock runs away from the fox and flies into the tree.
狐狸和公雞
一天早上，一隻狐狸看到了一隻公雞。他想：這是我的早餐。
他朝公雞走來，對他說：「我知道，你能唱得非常好聽，你能唱給我聽么？」公雞很高興。他閉上眼睛開始唱歌。狐狸看到這些抓住它放到自己的嘴裡走了。
在田地里的人們看到了狐狸。大喊大叫：「看，看！狐狸抓住公雞逃走了。」公雞對狐狸說：「狐狸先生，你能理解么？人們認為你叼走了公雞。告訴他們這是你的，不是他們的。」
狐狸張開她的嘴說：「公雞是我的，不是你們的。」就在那時，。公雞跑到了樹底下。
Ⅳ 英語幽默故事帶翻譯
這樣可以嗎 ？
Teacher:Why are you late for school every morning?
Tom:Every time I e to the corner,a sign says,"School-Go slow".
老師:為什麼你每天早晨都遲到?
湯姆:每當我經過學校的拐角處,就看見一個牌子上寫著"學校----慢行".
A Good Boy
Little Robert asked his mother for o cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?"
"I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered.
"You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are o cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?"
"She is the one who sells the candy."
好孩子
小羅伯特向媽媽要兩分錢。
「昨天給你的錢干什麼了？」
「我給了一個可憐的老太婆，」他回答說。 「你真是個好孩子，」媽媽驕傲地說。「再給你兩分錢。可你為什麼對那位老太太那麼感興趣呢？」
「她是個賣糖果的。」
Drunk
One day, a father and his little son were going home. At this age, the boy was interested in all kinds of things and was always asking questions. Now, he asked, "What's the meaning of the word 'Drunk', dad?" "Well, my son," his father replied, "look, there are standing o policemen. If I regard the o policemen as four then I am drunk."
"But, dad," the boy said, " there's only ONE policeman!"
醉酒
一天，父親與小兒子一道回家。這個孩子正處於那種對什麼事都很感興趣的年齡，老是有提不完的問題。他向父親發問道：「爸爸，『醉』字是什麼意思？」 「唔，孩子，」父親回答說，「你瞧那兒站著兩個警察。如果我把他們看成了四個，那麼我就算醉了。」 「可是，爸爸， 」孩子說，「那兒只有一個警察呀！」
Ⅳ 英語1分鍾小故事帶翻譯，最好是有趣一點的
A
Mr.
Zhang
left
the
pany
personnel,
one
day
go
to
bars,
bartender
said:
Mr.
Zhang,
I
heard
that
you
have
not
stem
personnel?
!Mr.
Zhang
to
listen
to
the
great
panic,
the
bartender
us
busy,
I
heard
that
you
are
not
in
personnel?
!
翻譯：一位張先生離開了公司人事部，有一天去酒吧，調酒師內說：張先生，聽說您容最近不幹人事啦？！張先生聽了大慌，調酒師忙改口，聽說您不在人事啦？！
Ⅵ 英語趣味小短文（帶翻譯）
1、Cat and Mice 貓和老鼠
Mrs Brown went to visit one of her friend and carried a *** all boxwith holes punched in the top.
"What's in your box?" asked the friend.
"A cat," answered Mrs Brown. "You see I've beendreaming about mice at night and I'm so scared! This cat is to catchthem."
"But the mice are only imaginary," said the friend.
"So is the cat," whispered Mrs Brown.
布朗夫人去拜訪一位朋友，她拿著一個頂部扎滿了小眼兒的盒子。「盒子里裝的是什麼？」朋友問道。「一隻小貓，」布朗夫人回答說，「你知道我晚上睡覺總夢見老鼠，我非常害怕。這只貓可以抓住那些老鼠。」「可老鼠都是假想的呀。」朋友說。「小貓也是假想的。」布朗夫人小聲說道。
2、I think that I'm a chicken 我是一隻雞
Psychiatrist: What's your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
精神病醫師：你哪裡不舒服？
病人：我認為我是一隻雞。
精神病醫師：這種情況從什麼時候開始的？
病人：從我還是一隻蛋的時候開始的。
3、I Am Acting Like a Lady 我要表現得像位女士
One day when women's dresses were on sale at the FarEast DepartmentStore, a dignified middle-aged man decided to get his wife a piece. But he soonfound himself being battered by frantic women.
He stood it as long as he could; then, with head lowered and armsflailing, he plowed through the crowed.
"You there!" challenged a thrill voice. "Can't youact like a gentleman?"
"Listen," he said, "I have been acting like agentleman for an hour. From now on, I am acting like a lady."
一天，遠東百貨公司的女裝大減價，一位高貴的中年男士想給太太買一件。可是，沒過多久，他發現自己已被瘋狂的女人沖得踉踉蹌蹌。
他竭力忍耐著。後來，他低下頭，揮動雙臂，擠過人群。
「你幹嘛？」有人尖聲叫道，「你難道不能表現得像位紳士嗎？」
「聽著，」他說，「我過去一小時一直表現得像一位紳士。從現在起，我要表現得像位女士。」
4、The Broom Seller and the Barber 賣掃帚的人和理發師
A man who sold brooms went into a barber's shop to get shaved. Thebarber bought one of his brooms, and, when he had shaved him, asked for theprice of it.
"Two pence," said the man.
"No, no," said the barber, "I will give you a penny,and if you do not think that enough, you may take your broom again."
The man took it, and asked what he had to pay for his shave.
"A penny." said the barber.
"I will give you a half-penny, and if that is not enough, youmay put my beard on again."
一個賣掃帚的人去一家理發店修面。理發師向他買了一把掃帚。當理發師給他修完面後，問了一下掃帚的價錢。
賣掃帚的人說：「兩便士。」
「不，不。」理發師說，「我只出一便士。如果你認為不夠的話，可以把掃帚拿回去。」
賣掃帚的人取回了掃帚，隨後問修面要付多少錢。
賣掃帚的人說：「我只能給你半個便士，如果你認為不夠的話，你可以把鬍子再替我裝上。」
5、Want a Day Off 想請一天假
Smith goes to see his supervisor in the front office."Boss," he says, "We're doing some heavy house-cleaning at hometomorrow, and my wife needs me to help with the attic and the garage, movingand hauling stuff." "We're short-handed, Smith," the bossreplies. "I can't give you the day off." "Thanks, boss,"says Smith, "I knew I could count on you!"
一天，史密斯去見他的客戶部領導。「老闆，」斯密斯說，「我們家明天要大搞清潔，我老婆需要我回去幫忙清潔閣樓和車庫，搬搬挪挪什麼的。」「斯密斯啊，你也知道，我們現在人手已經不夠了。」老闆說，「明天的假我是沒法給你批了」。「多謝老闆，」史密斯說，「我果然沒信錯人。」
6、I Lost 我輸了
It was at a five o』clock tea. A young man came tothe hostess to apologize for his lateness.
「So good of you to e, Mr. Jones, and where isyour brother?」
「You see we're very busy in the office and only oneof us could e, so we tossed up for it.」
「How nice! And so original, too! And you won?」
「No,」 said the young man absently, 「I lost.」
五點鍾，下午茶的時間，一個年輕人因為遲到向女主人致歉。
「您能來可真好，瓊斯先生，您的兄弟在哪兒呢？」
「您知道我們公司很忙，我們倆只能來一個，所以就擲幣來決定由誰來。」
「太有意思了！還那麼有創意！那您贏了？」
「不，」年輕人心不在焉地說，「我輸了。」
7、The Old Cat 老貓
An old woman had a cat. The cat was very old; she could not run quickly, and she could not bite, because she was so old.One day the old cat saw a mouse; she jumped and caught the mouse. But she could not bite it; so the mouse got out of her mouth and ran away, because the cat could not bite it.
Then the old woman became very angry because the cat had not killed the mouse. She began to hit the cat. The cat said, "Do not hit your old servant. I have worked for you for many years,and I would work for you still, but I am too old. Do not be unkind to the old,but remember what good work the old did when they were young."
一位老婦有隻貓，這只貓很老，它跑不快了，也咬不了東西，因為它年紀太大了。一天，老貓發現一隻老鼠，它跳過去抓這只老鼠，然而，它咬不住這只老鼠。因此，老鼠從它的嘴邊溜掉了，因為老貓咬不了它。於是，老婦很生氣，因為老貓沒有把老鼠咬死。她開始打這只貓，貓說：「不要打你的老僕人，我已經為你服務了很多年，而且還願意為你效勞，但是，我實在太老了，對年紀大的不要這么無情，要記住老年人在年青時所做過的有益的事情。
8、There Good Friends 三個好朋友
One day, a monkey rides his bike near the river. This time he sees a lion under a tree. The lion runs at him. He is afraid and falls into the river. He can』t swim. He shouts. The rabbit hears him. He jumps into the river. The rabbit swims to the monkey, but he can』t help him. Luckily, an elephant es along. He is very strong. He helps the rabbit and monkey. Three friends are very happy. They go to the elephant』s home. Then, three of them bee good friends。
一天，一隻猴子在河邊騎車。這時他看見樹下有一隻獅子，獅子向他跑來。他非常的害怕，掉進河裡。他不會游泳，大叫起來。兔子聽見了，跳進水裡，但他卻沒有辦法救猴子。幸運的是，一隻大象過來了。大象非常強壯，救出了兔子和猴子。他們來到大象的家，在那裡吃了一頓大餐。從此他們成了好朋友。
Ⅶ 給一篇英語故事 （較短，有趣的 有中文翻譯的）
In
the
first
puter
class,
some
row
of
schoolmate's
puter
halted.
Therefore
a
schoolmate
stood
said:
「來teacher,
the
puter
has
halted,
our
row
entire.」源By
now,
many
schoolmates
said:
「we
have
also
died.」By
now
teacher
asked:
「haven't
some
who
died?」Only
then
a
schoolmate
stands:
「I
have
not
died!」Teacher
said
strangely:
「all
personnel
has
died,
why
don't
you
die?」
一日上電腦課，有一排同學的電腦死機了。於是一位同學站起來說：「老師，電腦死機了，我們這排全死了。」這時，許多同學都說：「我們也死了。」這時老師問：「還有誰沒死？」只有一位同學站起來：「我還沒死！」老師奇怪的說：「全班都死了，你為什麼不死？」