情景劇三人版英語四級

A. 英語情景劇劇本 10分鍾

英語搞笑話劇《孔雀東南飛》

Wanders every five miles
焦仲卿Johnny(J for short)劉蘭芝Lunch(L for short)
焦母Johnny's mother(JM for short)劉母Lunch』s mother(LM for short)
太守之子Mayor』s son(MS for short)強盜Burglars(ABandC)

(J作被打狀跑上台,內砸出一卷紙筒,J被打中,狼狽不堪)
J:Every body says that I'm henpecked,but in fact,I』m as strong as a tiger,(小聲)while my
wife is Wu Song.
(指著上台處的門大聲道)I』m not afraid of you!
(內砸出一臉盆,J接住當成盾牌護著頭)Then,I』m afraid of whom?
My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is braver than me,
smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I do not care.I only want her to be tender
than me.But she is not!Having a wife like this is just like living in the hell!
(內又砸出一卷紙筒,擊中J)
My God!Who can help me?(下)

Act1
(序幕結束時,JM作竊聽狀)
JM(拄拐棍上):I can!
(對門內)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you?
L(扎著圍裙,拿著鍋鏟,從門內跳出來):I』m here!What』s up mum?
JM:I』ve told you again and again that you should call me「my most beautiful graceful and
dearest mother-in-law」.
L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what』s up?
JM:Since you married my son you have be haved so badly.You have been so rude,so brusque,so
lazy……
L:But……
JM:Never interrupt me!
L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I have been working hard all
day long,cooking and washing.I have raised tens of thousands of pigs and cks and chicken
and……
JM:But all those you have done are not as valuable as a grandson!
L(生氣地揮動著鍋鏟):Oh,you want a grandson,don』t you?(開始解圍裙)Go and ask your
son.I』m leaving!(扯下圍裙,扔在JM的臉上,下)

Act2
(LM坐在台上打毛線,L拿著鍋鏟上)
L:Mum,I』m back!
LM:You are back?Why?What happened?
L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.
LM(驚訝,但隨即露出幸災樂禍的神情):See!I have already told you!When you insisted on
marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen
to me.Look at yourself……
L:But,mum……
LM:Never interrupt me!
L:Mum,I』m no tinterrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK?And
I』ll marry whom ever you want me to.
LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I met the mayor』s son in the market.He said:「If your daughter
Haven』t been married,I really really want to marry her!」Now you are free again,I』ll go
and tell him.(下)
L(驚愕):What?The mayor』s son?The most famous playboy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的鍋
鏟掉在地上)What a silly thing I have done!(下)

Act3
(J睡眼惺忪上)
J(邊走邊道):Lunch!Lunch!Where are my socks?
(走了幾步,在地上撿起襪子)Here they are!(聞一下) Er!How smelly!They are still dirty!
(突然想起)Lunch has gone!I have to wash them myself.
(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起來)Oh,I』m so hungry!But there』s no breakfast!(撿起地上的圍
裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now
she has gone.I have to cook for my mother and myself.
JM(上):Where』s my breakfast?Where』s Lunch?Hasn』t she got up yet?
J:Mum,can』t you remember?Lunch has gone!
JM(沉吟片刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,as on without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice
girl,go and take her back!
J(立正敬禮):Yes madam!

Act4
(J開心地走著，忽然跳出來三個強盜)
A:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!
The road is built by me!(抬腳重重地踩在一塊大石頭上)
B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬腳踩在同一塊石頭上)
C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石頭，但踩到了A的腳)
AB&C:Give us all your money!
J(搜遍了每一個口袋，掏出1角硬幣):Is1 mao enough?
(三強盜暈倒狀，接著三人聚在一邊商量)
A:What bad luck!This guy is broken!
B:If we cannot rob any money today,we will have nothing to eat tonight!
C:I heard that the mayor』s son is going to marry Miss Liu Lan next month.WE can go and
rob the wedding!
A&B:Good idea!
J(驚訝):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It』s impossible!
AB&C:Why?A pretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!
J:But Lunch is my wife!We haven』t got divorced yet!
(突然有了主意)I』ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don』t you?I』ll go
with you.You take the money and I take the bride.
B:Have you got any experience?
J:No.But I』ve got this!(J脫下鞋子從裡面摸出一張支票，上書＄1，000，000)

Act5
(轉眼已到了婚禮之期．MS意氣風發用紅綢牽著新娘上，J蓋著紅蓋頭極不情願地被拉上台)
(J和三強盜躍至台中)
ABC&J:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!
A:The road is built by me!
B:And I planted one tree.
C:If you want to go by this street---
J:Give us all your money!
(L聽到J的聲音，掀起了蓋頭)
L(驚喜萬分):Johnny!(不顧一切地飛奔到J的身邊並躲到了的身後)
(MS大怒，揮拳向J打來．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身後的L，L暈倒)
J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（揮拳向MS沖去）
(J與MS混戰，JM上，以拐杖擊暈MS)
(J將MS胸前的新郎標志扯下戴在自己胸前)
J(扶起L，關切地問):Honey,how are you?
L(哭狀):I hurt a lot!
J:Don』t cry baby.I』ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)
L(起身去追):Wait for me! (跑下)
(音樂起 Can You Celebrate)

B. 求三人表演的英語搞笑短劇,3-5分鍾左右的就可以了!

Three visits to the cottage
主要人物：諸葛亮、諸葛家僕人（朱不亮）、劉備、關羽、張飛、旁白（同時操作電腦）
旁白：
Three visits to the cottage（中文名三顧茅廬） is a story from one of the Four Great
classical Chinese novels——the Three Kindoms. ZhuGeliang is one of the main
characters in the original. Also, he is an outstanding militarist, politician and the symbol of the wisdom in Chinese history. Another main actors——Liubei, who visited ZhuGeliang's thatched cottage three times and wanted to invite him to be his military adviser. Finally, ZhuGeliang was moved by Liubei' sincerity, helped the three brothers——Liubei, Guanyu and Zhangfei to establish the Shu Kindom. Now，let』s go into the story.
第一幕
屋子中，諸葛亮在屋裡走著，
諸葛亮：Buliang，this classroom is so dirty，豬不亮掃地，送水（營養快線） 三兄弟上場，關羽（頭巾），劉備（墨鏡），張飛（不停打嗝） 劉：飯後一支煙，賽過活神仙
A cigerate after dinner plays an important role in my life.（伸手，張飛點煙，劉深吸一口，長舒一口氣）
劉：嗯？沒點著
En? It dosen』t burn on.
張飛：湊合著吧，老師不讓抽煙
Sorry，we can only has this.We can』t smoke in the classroom! 關羽：此番前來，定要邀請的卧龍先生 We must invite Mr.Zhu Geliang! 張飛：必須的，老曹太欺負人了
Certainly,Mr.Cao bully us too much. 三人來到門前，石頭剪子布 劉備：According to our custom？ 關羽：OK.
張飛：No problem. 劉備三人進行石頭剪子布，劉備輸了，其餘兩人把劉備推到前面。 劉備作出一幅英勇就義的姿態，（上海灘響起）
劉備作按門鈴狀，（門鈴聲響起）。
諸葛亮：Bu liang（不亮）, go to open the door.
僕人：Heng!(哼) 僕人板著個臉到了門口，做了一個甩頭的動作，並呼啦呼啦頭發，然後深呼吸，放平穩，保持微笑。然後打開門，舉了個躬。
僕人：안녕하세요(發音a ni ha sai yao~~~，中文意思：你好) 劉備：Can you speak English? 關羽：（緊接著劉備）Can you speak Chinese? 張飛：（緊接著）Can you speak Japanese?

歷史老照片不能說的秘密慈禧軍閥明末清初文革晚清

劉備：（緊接著）Spanish?
關羽：（緊接著）Congolese? 張飛：（緊接著）Egyptian? 僕人：（緊接著）Shut up! Who are you people? 劉備：(擺個pose)I』m Liubei.
關羽：(也擺個pose)I』m Guanyu.
張飛：(同樣擺個pose，把關羽碰倒了)I』m Sorry. 劉備三人趕緊把僕人扶起來。 豬不亮：你們怎麼來的啊
What do you three take to come here? 張飛：騎馬來的啊，做騎馬狀 Riding a horse ,of course. 豬不亮：那你們怎麼騎馬來的啊？ So,How do you riding a horse? 三人面面相覷，豬不亮關門 劉備突然明白了，「money！！」 張飛關羽聳肩都沒帶錢，下台
第二幕
三兄弟上台，張飛關羽手提禮品
關羽猥瑣的說:這次應該可以了吧，上次也怨我們 I think we』ll manage it this time.
張飛：啥啊，如果你不是拉著我，老子一嗓子吼死他（做咆哮狀，老虎聲音）
What? If you don』t pull me,I will easily kill him with my strong throat! 劉備：行了，行了，我們來幹啥來了 稍息。。。立正。。。（張飛關羽照做）
Stop,stop,What are we doing here? At ease!—Attention! 劉備：都給我機靈點（張飛關羽點頭答應） You three! Be clever this time!
屋子中„„
（英文歌，諸葛亮和豬不亮正喝酒，豬不亮哼著英語歌，他兩個喝醉了） 諸葛亮：MY GOD！！上天你為什麼這么懲罰我 My God!! Why do you punish me?!
豬不亮：老大別難過，班長楊超不也沒過嗎
Don』t be sad,my boss. As I know,our monitor does』t pass the examination. 諸葛亮：我的四級考試啊，開始哭．．．
What？our monitor does』t pass the examination？But，My English cet band 4 also losed··· （換背景音樂，豬不亮跟著哭，門鈴響，豬不亮醉醺醺的搖搖晃晃去開門） 豬不亮：誰啊
Who』s this? 張飛：收水費的
I come here to charge the bill of electricity

（開門，三人一臉嬉笑）
劉備：我們又來了，麻煩小弟通報一下
We are here again,bother to notice your boss. （豬不亮四下環顧，把禮品接過來了）
（屋子裡傳來悲傷的氣息，張飛和關羽抹眼淚） 張飛：怎麼突然一陣感傷湧上心頭（自言自語） I just feel some feeling of sorrow in my heart.. 關羽：請問卧龍先生在家嗎，我們想見一下（SEE）
Is Mr Zhu Ge home? We want to have a talk with him ,please. 豬不亮：吟詩，見與不見。。。 （你見，或者不見我
It』s doesn』t matter if you see me or not 我就在那裡
I am standing right there 不悲不喜
With no emotion 你念，或者不念我
It』s doesn』t matter if you miss me or not 情就在那裡
The feeling is right there 不來不去
And it isn』t going anywhere 你愛或者不愛我
It』s doesn』t matter）
（豬不亮轉身關門，站不穩）
劉：What?！！
張飛：是不是家裡死人了，下次再來吧
I』m afraid some-one important of him died here. Let』s go. Maybe we should come next time. 關羽：希望死的不是諸葛亮
Oh, I wish Zhu Geliang does』t die„ （關羽，劉備打張飛，下台。。）
第三幕
（諸葛亮和豬不亮玩三國殺，背景音樂，術語） （諸葛亮又贏了） 豬不亮：老大你真NB You are the man !
諸葛亮：那是，你不想想我是干什麼的，我打算過了年就去找劉備，找份工作
Hum！That』s a piece of cake. And I think I should go to Liu Bei』s corporation to find a job after Spring Festival.

豬不亮：你想去劉備那裡？？
What? You said you wanna to go to Liu Bei』s company? 諸葛亮：嗯，那裡用不著英語
En...That』s a good place in which I need not speak English. 豬不亮：前幾天他來過了，讓我趕跑了
But...uh, I drove him away a few days ago. 門鈴響。。 豬不亮：說來就來了
Speak of the devil and he doth appear. （三兄弟，大跨步的走進來，諸葛亮一見到很激動） 諸葛亮：大哥，想死我了（擁抱）你帶我走吧 Boss! I ached for you so much, please help me!
劉備：鎮定鎮定，既然兄弟這么看得起我，那咱們就一起大幹一場吧 Be calm. Since you trust me so much, let』s go and do it! （出發。。）
諸葛亮：大哥等等，那。。那，一月多少錢啊
Wait,wait...My boss, uh, how much will.. I get.. from you then. 張飛：（恐嚇狀）兄弟之間不談錢，談錢多傷感情，（拎著諸葛亮就走） It hurts feelings when it comes to money! （豬不亮在後面拿著包袱，大喊） 豬不亮：帶上我吧，（走路（小沈陽狀）） Oh, Please take me away. 閉幕。。。。