八下英語閱讀幽默故事

Ⅰ 10個英語幽默故事

下面是我整理的10個經典英語幽默 故事 ，歡迎大家閱讀!

英語幽默故事1.

When I checked on to a hotel in my last visit to the U.S.A., the receptionist said: “ Do you want a room with a shower or a bath?”

Thinking of the money, I asked, “ What’s the difference?”

“Well, “ he said, “ with a shower, you have to stand up.”

英語幽默故事2.

A young man came home from work and found his bride upset. “ I feel terrible,” she said. “ I was pressing your suit and I burned a big hole in the seam of your trousers.”

“Forget it,” consoled her husband. “”Remember that I’ve got an extra pair of pants for that suit.”

“Yes,” said the woman, cheering up. “ And it’s lucky you have. I used them to patch the hole.

英語幽默故事3.

The new bank teller was given a package of dollar bills with the instruction to count them and see if there were a hundred. He counted up to fifty-eight and then threw the bundle down.

“ Why did you stop?” asked the bank manager

” If it’s right this far, said the teller, “ It’s probably right all the way.”

英語幽默故事4.

Landlady: An inventor once had this room. He invented an explosive.

New Lodger: Oh, I suppose those spots on the ceiling are the explosives.

L: No, that’s the inventor.

英語幽默故事5.

Plumber: I’m sorry I’m late, but I just couldn’t get here any sooner.

M: Well, no time’s been wasted. While we were waiting for you, I taught my wife how to swim.

英語幽默故事6.

M: There are two slices of pie in the cupboard this morning and now there’s only one. Can you explain that?

S: It was so dark, I didn’t see the other slice.

英語幽默故事7.

In an entrance examination of a conservatory of music, the teacher asked one of the boys, “ What is the most important physiological quality of a musician?”

“ To be deaf,” replied the boy.”

“ Nonsense!” said the teacher angrily.

“ Why, sir! Don’t you know that the most famous musician Beethoven was deaf?” the boy asked in reply disdainfully.

英語幽默故事8.

A newspaper boy was selling newspapers in the street. He kept shouting at the top of his voice: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-two persons were swindled!” His curiosity aroused, a man went over and bought a . He searched through it and couldn’t find anything about the swindling case. Then he heard the newspaper boy shout: “ Read all about it! A big swindling case! Eighty-three persons were swindled!”

英語幽默故事9.

Five-year-old Tommy is fascinated by planes, and rushed outside every time he hears one to watch it until it becomes a speck in the distance. So when he finally had the chance to fly for the first time, he is pop-eyed with excitement. About ten minutes after take-off, he asks expectantly, “ When do we start to get smaller, Mummy?”

英語幽默故事10.

A man was told by his physician that he had only six months to live. “ Doc,” he said, “ is there anything I can do?”

“ Yes,” replied the doctor. “ First, give all your possessions to the poor. Next, move to a cold-water shack in the backwoods. And then marry a woman with nine young children.”

“ Will this give me more time?”

“ No-- but it’ll be the longest six months in your life!”

Ⅱ 初中英語幽默小故事笑話

初中英語幽默小故事笑話

從古到今,笑話是人們生活中不可缺少的「調劑品」。笑話使人們在刻板的生活中感到一絲快意和放鬆，在人們的日常生活中起著重要調劑作用。下面我為大家帶來初中英語幽默小故事精選，歡迎大家閱讀!

初中英語幽默小故事精選1：一個更好的郵遞員

I worked as a mailman for a short time. However, I am afraid of dogs and I had a lot of trouble.

One day I tried to deliver some letters to a big house. I started to open the gate and all of a sudden a huge dog ran towards me.It growled and barked at me, I threw the letters over the fence. The dog picked them up and carried them into the house. The dog was a better mailman than I was!

我當過很短時間的郵遞員。然而，我害怕狗，而且也有過不少麻煩。

有一天，我設法到一座大房子去遞送幾封信。我開始打開門，這時，突然一隻很大的狗朝我跑來。它朝我嚎叫、咆哮著，因此我把信件扔在了柵欄上。那隻狗拾起那些信件，把信件帶進了大房子。比起我來講，那隻狗是個更好的郵遞員。

初中英語幽默小故事 精選 2：廣告的威力

Some businessmen were talking about advertising on tv excitedly. As none of them had ever done it before, every one had his point of view。

At this moment, Mr. Grey came by. grey was a car dealer and he had once made an advertisement。

"What are you talking about?" Mr. Grey asked。

"Does advertisement work or not?" one of the businessmen asked。

"Oh, yes, it works very fast," Mr. Grey said. " I once advertised for my watch-dog and offered a reward of $100."

"Did you get the dog back?"

"No, but that very night three of my cars were stolen."

一群商人正熱烈地討論在電視上做廣告。他們中沒有人做過，所以每個人都有自己的想法。

此時，格雷先生進來了。格雷是一個汽車經銷商，他曾經做過一次廣告。

「你們在討論什麼?」格雷先生問。

「廣告有用不?」其中一位商人問。

「噢，有用，而且見效非常快。」格雷先生說，「我曾經發布了一條廣告，要花100美金尋找一條丟失的看門狗。」

「你的狗找到了嗎?」

「沒，但是那個晚上我的三輛車被偷走了。」

初中英語幽默小故事 精選 3：做自己不喜歡的'事情

A farmer and his son, traveling by horse and buggy up a narrow lane, met a motorist going the other way. There was no room to pass for two miles in either direction. The motorist, in hurry,honked his horn.

"If you don't back up," said the farmer, rolling up his sleeves, "I won't like what I'm going to have to do." The surprised driver put his car in reverse and backed up two miles, allowing the horse and buggy to go by.

"What was it you wouldn't have liked to have done back there?" asked the farmer's son.

"Back up two miles," replied the farmer.

一位農民和他的兒子坐著馬車來到一條狹窄的小巷， 他們看到一個司機正往他們這個方向開來。兩個方向2英里以內已經沒有空間讓他們擦身而過了。司機焦急地按著喇叭。

「假如你不往後退，」農民擼著袖子說，「我並不喜歡我將要必須去做的事。」司機甚是驚訝，掛了倒擋，退後了2英里，讓馬車先過去了。

「剛才你說你並不喜歡做的事是什麼啊?」農民的兒子問。

「退後2英里。」農民回答。

;

Ⅲ 英文短篇幽默小故事大全精選

英文的故事雖然閱讀起來可能會有難度，但是只要每天堅持不懈的閱讀一定的文章，可以很好的增進自身的英文水平,下面這些是我為大家推薦的幾篇。
1：The bulging belly fox
A hungry Fox found in a hollow tree a quantity of bread and meat, which some shepherds had placed there against their return. Delighted with his find he slipped in through the narrow aperture and greedily devoured it all. But when he tried to get out again he found himself so swollen after his big meal that he could not squeeze through the hole, and fell to whining and groaning over his misfortune. Another Fox, happening to pass that way, came and asked him what the matter was; and, on learning the state of the case, said, 「Well, my friend, I see nothing for it but for you to stay where you are till you shrink to your former size; you』ll get out then easily enough.」
2:A Piggy Bank
Once there were lots of toys in a room. There was a saving box on the dresser, and it was a *** all piggy bank. The piggy bank was full of bronze, gold and silver coins.

The piggy bank knew that he had many coins inside of him. That's why he was always proud of himself in front of his friends. "I have a lot of money. It is enough to buy all of you." The piggy bank always looked down from the top of the dresser and said this proudly. Then, the other toys looked up the piggy bank with envious eyes.

One night, the beautiful moonlight poured into the room through a window. The toys in the room were so happy. "Ladies and gentlemen, let's play together on this beautiful night." A baby doll with a red velvet ribbon said. "Okay. Let's play a game." "After that, let's have a tea party." "Wow, it will be exciting!" All the toys shouted for joy.

Everyone except the piggy bank joined the party. "That party must be boring." He held up his head to the ceiling and pretended that he was not interested in the party. He thought it would make him less valuable to join in such an unimportant party.

"Hey, piggy bank! e on and join us. Let's enjoy the party." "e on." Everyone invited him to the party, but the piggy bank ignored their invitation. Therefore, the other toys enjoyed their party without the piggy bank.

A rocking horse put on a knitting ball tail and danced. A rubber ball rolled over, and a toy car drove round everywhere in the room. Everyone seemed so happy.

The piggy bank looked down at them playing and watched with an askance look. Then, the playing was over and the tea party began. The piggy bank couldn't stand not eating when he saw the food, and he came closer step by step to the edge of the dresser.

He *** elled delicious cookies. He suddenly stuck his head towards the toys gathered.

"Clink!" The piggy bank fell down to the floor. When the piggy bank broke into pieces, the bronze, gold and silver coins inside of him scattered noisily.

The other toys were surprised at the piggy bank's fall while they were enjoying the tea party. Everybody looked at the piggy bank with surprise. "Look at that poor piggy bank. He was always proud of himself." "It's so sad. He could not even enjoy the party." All the other toys felt sorry about the piggy bank.
3:The Wind And The Sun
One day the wind said to the sun, 「Look at that man walking along the road. I can get his cloak off more quickly than you can.」 「We will see about that,」 said the sun. 「I will let you try first.」 So the wind tried to make the man take off his cloak. He blew and blew, but the man only pulled his cloak more closely around himself. 「I give up,」 said the wind at last. 「I cannot get his cloak off.」 Then the sun tried. He shone as hard as he could. The man soon became hot and took off his cloak.

的人還：

1.英語幽默小故事

2.簡單幽默英語小故事精選

3.幽默英文小故事精選

4.英語幽默短故事

5.少兒英語幽默小故事精選

Ⅳ 英語幽默小故事5篇

英語 故事 會出現學生認識或是不認識的單詞，而這個單詞的重復不斷出現，會加深同學們對單詞的記憶。這種記憶不是死記硬背，而是在潛移默化中，讓學生記住。這次我給大家整理了英語幽默小故事，供大家閱讀參考。

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英語幽默小故事1

Don't Pick Up the Money on the Ground

An economist professor and a student are walking down the street when they see a $20 bill lying on the sidewalk in front of them. The student goes to pick up the money but his professor stops him and tells him not to bother.

Why not?

If it were a real twenty-dollar bill, someone would have picked it up already.

Everything that can be invented has been invented.

別撿地上的錢

一位經濟學教授和一名學生正在大街上行走，這時他們看到前面的人行道上躺著一張20美元面值的鈔票。學生走過去准備撿，教授制止了他，告訴他別自尋煩惱。

「為什麼不撿?」

「假如那是一張真20美元鈔票的話，早就有人撿走了。」

「該發明的都已經被發明出來了。」

英語幽默小故事2

The Less You Know, the More Money You Make

Theorem: Engineers and scientists will never make as much money as business executives.

Now a rigorous mathematical proof that explains why this is true:

Postulate 1: Knowledge is Power.

Postulate 2: Time is Money.

As every engineer knows, Power=Work/Time. Since Knowledge=Power, and Time=Money, we have

Knowledge=Work/Money. Solving for Money, we get: Money=Work/Knowledge.

Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity regardless of the Work done.

Conclusion: The less you know, the more money you make.

知識越少掙錢越多

定理：工程師和科學家永遠應當比經濟專家掙錢少。

下面是對該定理的一個嚴格的數學證明：

假設一：知識就是力量(Power)。

假設二：時間就是金錢。

每個工程師都知道：功率(Power)= 。既然知識=力量，時間=金錢，我們有：知識= 。求解金錢表達式，我們得到：金錢= 。

因此，當知識趨於零時，無論你做了多少功，金錢趨於無窮大。

結論：知識越少，你掙得的金錢就越多。

英語幽默小故事3

They Should Be Playing at Night

A therapist, a priest and an economist go golfing. The group ahead of them is extremely slow, leading to some frustration among the three. Their complaints are overheard, and a man from the group ahead walks over to them. He introces himself as an aide because the group of golfers he is with is blind! The aide thanks the three in appreciation for their patience for the blind golfers. The priest goes, "Oh no, all my life I've preached for all to be better to my fellow man and here I am complaining about the blind!" The therapist says, "I've been trained my whole life to help others and here I am complaining about the blind, shame on me!" The economist says, "Oh no! They should be playing at night."

他們本該在晚上打球

神父、心理學家和經濟學家三人結伴打高爾夫。前面的一組打球進度極其緩慢，這讓三人大為惱火。他們開始抱怨，前面那組中的一人聽到抱怨聲後朝他們走了過來。他 自我介紹 說是前面那組球手們的助手，因為那組球手都是盲人。助手感謝他們三位耐心等待。神父聽後忙說：「哦，不會吧?我一輩子都在祈禱同胞們過上更美好的生活，而我卻在這里抱怨這些盲人!」心理學家也趕緊說：「我一生的信條是幫助別人，可是我卻在這里抱怨這些盲人，我真慚愧!」這時只聽經濟學家說：「哦，別這樣!他們本該在晚上打球的。」

英語幽默小故事4

A fellow pilot flying over the Midwest heard an air-traffic controller trying to contact an airliner for normal frequency change.「Flight 354，「said the controller，"contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.「The request was repeated several times with no reply from the pilot.Finally，in exasperation the controller raised his voice."Flight 354，Simon says contact Kansas City Center on frequency 135.5.」The call was acknowledged with an emharrassed reply and prompt compliance.

一名飛行員在中西部上空聽到地面指揮塔的指揮員在呼叫一民航調整其正常接收頻率。"354航班，」指揮塔在呼叫，「請與堪薩斯市中心135.5頻率聯系。」這一指令重復了幾次之後，竟沒得到任何迴音。最後，指揮塔的指揮員顯然是被激怒了，他大聲地銳:"354航班，西蒙說速與135. 5預率聯系。」這一聲顯然奏效，只聽對方慌忙地做了回答並迅速服從了指揮。」

英語幽默小故事5

Even My Driver Can Answer that Question

A famous game theorist, having won the Clark prize, was set to give a series of lectures at prestigious universities throughout the northeast. For the task, he hired a car and driver to take him from place to place . With nothing else to do, the driver would sit in on the highly technical lectures. After several lectures, the driver commented to the economist, "You know, I've heard your lecture so much that I think I could deliver it myself." The economist found this idea intriguing and decided to switch places with him at his next lecture.

The driver gave the talk flawlessly. However, after the lecture, some one in the audience asked him a rather technical question that the driver had no idea how to even begin to answer. The driver considered it for a moment, and then replied, "That question is so easy, even my driver can answer it."

甚至我的司機都能回答那個問題

一位著名的博弈論專家一獲得克拉克獎便開始在東北部各個知名大學展開一系列講座。為了完成這項任務，他租了一輛車並雇了一名司機載著他到處趕場。沒有別的事可做的司機就坐在課堂里聽專家那科技含量頗高的講座。幾場講座下來，司機對這位經濟學家說：「我聽了這么多次你的講座，我覺得我自己也能講了。」經濟學家覺得這個想法很有趣，於是決定下次作講座時他們兩個互換位置。

司機完美無瑕地完成了演講。可是當講座結束後，聽眾中有人問了他一個技術含量相當高的問題，他不知如何開口回答。司機沉思了一會，回答道：「這個問題太簡單了，連我的司機都能回答。」

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