英語閱讀笑話五年級

⑴ 簡短的英語小笑話精選

笑話從另一個角度反映著人們對於各種現象的態度,笑話是民族幽默的集中體現方式之一。下面是我帶來的簡短的英語小笑話，歡迎閱讀!

簡短的英語小笑話精選
(一)

make your own bed

Farmer: If you want to spend the night here, you'll have to make your own bed.

Traveling salesman: That's perfectly all right.

亮畢Farmer: Here's a hammer and saw. Good night.

(二)

給父親賬單

Send the Bill to My Father

Doctor: ″I can do nothing for your complaint. It is hereditary.″

Patient: ″then send the bill to my father,please.″

給父親賬單

醫生:“對你的抱怨我無能為力。那是遺傳病。”

病人:“那請你把賬單給我父親吧。”
簡短的英語小笑話閱讀
(一)

Excited Remarks

Our son, at age of five, had a fascination for motorcycles. The sight of one would always bring forth squeals of delight, accompanied by excited remarks of Look at that! Look at that! I’m going to have one of those someday, his dad’s response always was Not as long as I’m alive.

One day, while our son was talking to a little friend, a motorcycle passed by. He excitedly pointed it out to the boy and exclaimed, Look at that! Look at that! I’m getting one of those as soon as my dad dies.

激動的話

我五手正歲的兒子對摩托車有強烈的 愛好 。只要看見一輛摩托車,他就會高興得哇哇直叫,並激動地說:瞧這輛!瞧這輛,我總有一天也要有一輛。他爸爸的回答老是只要我活著,你就別想有這玩藝兒。

一天我們的兒子跟他的小朋友在說話,有一輛摩托車開了過畢鍵悔去。他興奮的指著摩托車叫道瞧這輛!瞧這輛!等我爸一死我就要有這樣一輛摩托車了。

(二)

A simple sense

Once upon a time, there were two hungry people got a gift: a senior and a basket fresh fishing huge fish. Among them, a person to a basket fish, another a rod, so they parted. Get the in situ fish sticks who build up a fish, and cook bonfires, yet he tasted the fish meat, fish soup, even in he ate, and soon, he starved to death in the empty fish basket. Another person is carrying rod to starve, step by step, hard to the edge, but when he has not seen the blue sea, he was the last bit of strength and make out, he can only with endless regret looking salto earth.

And two hunger, they also received a gift elders and a basket fishing rod. But they did not each rush thing, but agreed together to find the sea, they only cook fish, they pass distant journey, came to the sea, and they began a fishing day, after a few years, they built a house, with their families, children, had built a boat, the well-being of life.

A person only, get the immediate benefits will be short, One goal, but also to face the reality of life. Only the ideal and the reality, to combine may become a successful man. Sometimes, a simple, but enough to give people a meaningful life.
關於簡短的英語小笑話
(一)

BlackBerry or iPhone

BlackBerry has just unveiled its new model handset, the Bold, in an effort to match the competition of Apple's

iPhone. The latter's intuitive touch-sensitive screen has been a big selling point, but critics say the BlackBerry's

keyboard makes it more user-friendly, especially for email. Which gadget tops your wishlist?

(二)

A Half-price Ticket

半價票

"How much is the movie ticket?"

“電影票多少錢一張?”

"Ten dollars, kid."

“10美元，孩子。”

"I only have five dollars. Please let me in. I'll see it only with one eye."

“我只有5美元。請讓我進去吧，我只用一中眼睛看。”

⑵ 小學簡單的英語笑話閱讀

民間笑話是一種頗受人們喜愛的民間敘事類型,材料豐富,有廣泛的現實基礎。但是它卻一直被學界視為不登大雅之堂的小眾。我精心收集了小學簡單的英語笑話，供大家欣賞學習!

小學簡單的英語笑話：Do You Have A Bias?

A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding. As he was giving her the ticket, she said, "How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning? Is it my face?"

"No, ma'am," explained the officer, "it's your foot."

小學簡單的英語笑話：Santa Present

A little girl goes to visit Santa at the Mall. When it is her turn she sits on his lap and Santa says "Have you been good?"

Little Girl, "Yes, Santa, very good."

Santa, "What would you like for Christmas?"

Little Girl, "I want Barbie and G. I. Joe."

Santa, "G. I. Joe? Doesn't Barbie come with Ken?

Little Girl, "No, Santa, Barbie fakes it with Ken. But she comes with G. I. Joe."

小學簡單的英語笑話：I Earned It

A father came home from a long business trip to find his son riding a new 21 speed mountain bike. "Where did you get the money for the bike? It must have cost $300.""Easy, Dad," little Johnny replied. "I earned it hiking.""Come on Johnny," the father said. "Tell me the truth.""That is the truth," Johnny replied. "Every night you were gone, Mom's boss, Mr. Reynolds, would come over to see Mom. He'd give me a $20 bill and tell me to take a hike!"

小學簡單的英語笑話： The Smith's

The Smith's were proud of their family tradition.

Their ancestors had come to America on the Mayflower and the family included Senators and Wall Street Wizards.

The family decided to compile a family history, a legacy for their children and grandchildren. So the family hired a fine author to put together all their research notes, only one problem arose - how to handle great Uncle George, who was executed in the electric chair.

The author said not to worry for he could handle the story tactfully, so the book appeared and it said...

"Great Uncle George occupied a chair of applied electronics at an important government institution."

"He was attached to his position by the strongest of ties, and his death came as a great shock."

小學簡單的英語笑話：Where Is Your Wife?

On a rural road a state trooper pulled this farmer over and said: "Sir, do you realize your wife fell out of the car several miles back?"

To which the farmer replied: "Thank God, I thought I had gone deaf!"

⑶ 經典英語笑話6篇

英語笑話是指以一句英文短語或一個英文故事讓說話者和聽者之間覺得好笑,或是產生幽默感,笑話是一隱肢物種經過藝術加工的語言形式,是藝術化的語言,笑話是一種藝術方法。下面是我整理的英語爆笑笑話，歡迎大家閱讀!

英語笑話一：

我要做的一切就是付錢!All I do is pay

"My family is just like a nation," Mr. Brown told his colleague. "My

wife is the minister of finance, my mother-in-law is the minister of war,

and my daughter is foreign secretary."

"Sounds interesting, " his colleague replied. "And what is your

position?"

"I’m the people. All I do is pay."

布朗先生告訴同事說：“我的家簡直就象一個國家一樣。我妻子

是灶液財政部長。我岳母是作戰部長，我女兒是外交秘書。”

“聽上去挺有意思的，”他的同事說，“那你的職務是什麼呢?”

“我就是老百姓。我要做的一切就是付錢。”

英語笑話二：

喂狗 For the Dog

The family seated in a restaurant had finished their dinner when Father Called over the waiter.

"My son has left quite a lot of meat on his plate," explained Father, "Could you give me a bag so that I can take it home for the dog?"

"Gosh, Dad!" exclaimed the excited boy. "Have we got a dog then?"

一家人在飯館里吃過晚飯，父親把服務生叫了過來。

”先生，什麼事?“服務生問。

”我兒子的盤子里剩下許多肉，“父親說，”能給我們一個袋子嗎?我把剩下的東西帶回去喂狗。“

”啊呀，爸爸!“兒子激動地叫喊著。”咱家養狗了嗎?“

英語笑話三：

腦移植 A Brain Transplant

The Brain Surgeon was about to perform a brain transplant.

"You have your choice of two brains," he told the patient, "For $1000 you can have the brain of a psychologist, or for $10,000 you can have the brain of a politician."

The patient was amazed at the huge difference in price. "Is the brain of a politician that much better?" he asked.

The Brain Surgeon replied, "No, it’s not better, just unused."

一個外科醫生正要作一個腦移植手術。

“你可以從兩個腦子中選一個給你。”醫生告訴病人，“一個心理學家的大腦1000美元，一個政飢喚治家的大腦10000美元。

病人很驚訝二者之間這樣大的差別，“政治家的大腦好一些嗎?”他問。

醫生說：“不是好一些，只是沒有用過。”

英語笑話四：

不是我的錯

It's not my fault

Mother (reprimanding訓斥，譴責 her small daughter): You mustn't pull the cat's tail.

Daughter: I'm only holding it, Mom. The cat's doing the pulling.

不是我的錯

媽媽(正教訓她的女兒)：你不該拽貓的尾巴。

女兒：媽，我只是握著貓尾巴，它自己在拽。

英語笑話五：

Coins in American Currency 美國的硬幣

There are 100 cents in a dollar. Coins come in the following denominations: $.01 or 1 cent (a penny,a cent, one cent), $.05 or 5 cents (a nickel, five cents),$.1 or 10 cents (a dime, ten cents), $.25 or 25 cents(a quarter, two bits, twenty-five cents), and $.50 or50 cents (a fifty-cent piece).

Coins are called "change", "small change", or"silver" though they aren’t made of silver anymore.

Coins are generally recognized by their size, butsomebody "goofed" on the dime, which is smaller than either a nickel or a penny. All the others are in size order.

One more word for you: don’t hold out your hand with either bills or coins and expect someone to take the correct change from you. That cannot be done in any Western country.一美元中有一百美分。硬幣是按下列幣值鑄造的：一美分，五美分，十美分，二十五美分，五十美分。

硬幣也叫"零錢"，"小錢"，或"銀幣"，雖然它們不再是用銀子鑄成的。總的說來，硬幣是通過大小來識別的，但總有人把十美分搞錯，它比五美分和一美分都要小。其他的都按幣值的大小順序排列。

還有一點要說明：你不能伸出手，托出一把紙幣和硬幣而希望別人從你那裡拿走數目正確的零錢。這在任何西方國家都是不好的。

英語笑話六：

Now We Run 現在我們跑吧

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a very small boy trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the boy is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach. After watching the boy’s efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy’s position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow, places his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder and gives the doorbell a sold ring. Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles and asks, "And now what, my little man?" The boy replies, "Now we run!"

一個牧師正沿著街走路，這時他看到街對面有個小男孩正試圖按一所房子的門鈴。但這個小孩太小了，門鈴又高，他夠不著。看到那個小男孩費了很多勁，牧師走近了他。牧師優雅地穿過馬路，走到小傢伙的背後，輕輕地把手放在小男孩肩頭，按響了門鈴。他彎下身子，微笑著問道：“接下來怎麼辦，孩子?”小男孩回答說：“接下來我們跑。”